Greetings, dear ones!
I apologize that it has been so long since I've posted here. I have been more faithful with my prayer blog over the last several months, so I hope you have been enjoying the posts there.
Perhaps I ought to post something on independence. People across my country are likely posting about that today. I don't want to talk about independence and the pride of the motherland, though. I want to address an issue of interdependence -- let's talk about love.
During much of my life, I have witnessed people around me being willing to give up everything that they are, and everything that they have, in order to please someone else. These martyrs-of-sorts (admittedly used to be one, thinking that I was following the "proper" way of the Christian) will cease to have opinions about things because it will cause tension. They will not speak up when they feel violated. They do not listen to the internal voice that says the other is harmful to be around, and they are often attracted to the very people who will take advantage of their willingness to give.
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| "Zombie Love" - Photo by Trista Wynne |
This is life-taking-zombie-love, dear ones. This is not the life-giving love that Christ offers. This is not the rejuvenating way of the Beloved.
Loving others is not the same as
allowing ourselves to become door mats. We do need to listen to the intuitive
part of ourselves that lets us know whether a person is safe or whether they
would be harmful or toxic for us to be around on a regular basis. If we allow
others to hurt us, (particularly if we allow continuous abuse in verbal,
physical or sexual forms) then we are allowing the other person's spirit to destroy itself and we are not caring for ourselves. Self-effacement is not love.
True love includes self-care.
