New Life for a Frozen Brain

Grace to you, dear ones ~

I have spent much of the last couple of years adjusting to a new life here in Portland, Oregon.  Although it was my childhood town, I had been away for over seven years pursuing the last part of my BA and then my MA at seminary in Seattle.  The majority of my time back home was devoted to caring for my dear father as he prepared to pass from life to Life.  That transition happened this summer, the day before my birthday.  We have just passed three months since he died.

In the time since his passing, I often felt much like the walking dead.  No purpose.  No dream.  No hope for the future.  All was simply numb.  These effects of shock - which is our normal human response to the trauma of death - has only in recent weeks begun to dissipate.  My brain and emotions, it seemed, were in a cryogenic state - frozen in time at my Daddy's death bed.  Both have begun to thaw.  The time of healing has now begun.

For those of you who may be experiencing the loss of a loved one, or the deep shadows of grief as you care for an ailing parent or sibling, I write to offer you companionship.  New life, I am convinced, can be found when we tend one another's hearts.  I am here to walk beside you, accepting you with your permafrost brain, erratic emotional swings and physical aches that are a manifestation of your grief.  We will get through this together.  We will learn to live again.

"I have come that you might have life and have it to the fullest measure." -- Jesus says.

We have a promise from the Living Christ that new life is coming.  I am convinced that this is a deep, cosmological truth.  All life, from the smallest fruit fly to the greatest mammoth and basilosaurus, and everything in between, will all find newness and resurrection in the time to come.  For now, I am thankful to be receiving a small preview of this new life with the slow, gentle resurrection in my frozen grief brain.

I will do my best to write here once a week, both to walk with you and to record my own journey of resurrection.

Photo by Trista Wynne - Zombie 5K -- Dayton, OR -- October 2013 

Who are Your Heroes?

This is Balla the dog.  On several occasions, she has been known to sprout pretend wings and soar around the house helping those in need.  "To the rescue!" the child I nanny shouts, and then off they go to rescue some other toy or pet who appears to be in grave peril.

Yesterday, the preschooler I nanny was talking about their heroes.  The child's mother was listed in the number one spot, "because she helps people, and that's what heroes do".  This woman is a wise, gifted, naturopathic doctor, and she does help a lot of people.  I agree.  She is a hero!

A short while later, the child also said that I was a hero, too, because I help the child.  I am very blessed to have such affirmation given in my job without request!  What a gift this child's simple observation was for me.

What's in the Mirror?

ZomBcon Prep - Oct 2010

Looking at myself in the mirror before a recent zombie walk in Seattle, I laid the foundation for the bloodied zombie that was later reflected therein.  Sometimes I wonder what we as a church might see if we looked together in a mirror.  I wonder if we really know how we are perceived.

What might we see if we did some self-reflection?  Would we like what we see?  Do we want others to see us this way?  Do we have bloodstains and sunken eye sockets or are we full of life and vitality?What would we change if we could? 

A Grateful Zombie

Tonight's post comes from my evening prayer journal.

*****

Hello, Beloved!

Photo by Trista Wynne

Thank You for this beautiful day!  What a blessing it is to inhale the coconut scent of the sunscreen slathered on my skin!  What a delight to dance in the sunshine and read in the courtyard!  How wonderful to receive the sunshine vitamin without the hassle of supplements.

I loved the way my body felt after the long hill-filled walk this afternoon through the city!  Thank You for the gift of mobility.  I certainly appreciate the valuable resources of a healthy body!

Zombie Women Unite!

"Zombie Women Drum!"
Photo by Matt Wynne

The Fremont Solstice Festival is an expression of joy and freedom birthed out of a love for the arts.  My husband and I very much enjoy the culture and atmosphere in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle.  (Perhaps one day we'll live there; for now we simply visit when we can.)  Today Matt and I participated in the Solstice Parade, which inaugurates the beautiful days of summer.  It is our third year of drumming for Delilah's bellydancers, and we love it!  My body, mind and spirit are consistently rejuvinated through my interactions with the women who dance as well as the men and women who drum for them.

Likewise, when I attend a local women's drum circle each month, I almost always come away feeling unburdened.  I stand taller, breathe more easily, think more clearly and love more fully as a result.  These gatherings allow a fullness of self-expression, creative energy and a whole-bodied seeking after a Source beyond ourselves.  To be honest, it has been a while since I've experienced a similar feeling in a corporate worship gathering.  I look for it, and the search will go on, but I suspect that the kind of gathering I am looking for is more like a large family than a corporate gathering in a distant building.

Living in a Zombie World

As part of my seminary instruction and preparation for ministry, one of our required classes at Fuller Northwest is Homiletics.  In this preaching course, we are given the opportunity to preach for one another and to hear future pastors in action.  For my second sermon, I chose a passage from Paul's letter to the Ephesians in which he is reminding that fledgling congregation that because they know the hope that is found in Christ Jesus, they are called to act in ways that are different from the dark, tumultuous world around them. 

Hearts & Brains (Faith & Reason)

In an excerpt entitled Physician, Heal Thyself from an upcoming book, Dan Allen (zombietheology.com) shows the dangers that come from the faith healing sect of Christ-followers. I am torn as to how I respond to this. On the one hand, he's absolutely right. Many of our brothers and sisters have left the Church or faith altogether on account of the branches of our brethren who rely solely on heart/faith. On the other hand, I, like our brothers and sisters who are drawn to such teachings, wish that it was that easy.