A Zombie Learns to Love

Greetings, dear ones!

I apologize that it has been so long since I've posted here.  I have been more faithful with my prayer blog over the last several months, so I hope you have been enjoying the posts there.  

Perhaps I ought to post something on independence.  People across my country are likely posting about that today. I don't want to talk about independence and the pride of the motherland, though.  I want to address an issue of interdependence -- let's talk about love.

During much of my life, I have witnessed people around me being willing to give up everything that they are, and everything that they have, in order to please someone else.  These martyrs-of-sorts (admittedly used to be one, thinking that I was following the "proper" way of the Christian) will cease to have opinions about things because it will cause tension. They will not speak up when they feel violated. They do not listen to the internal voice that says the other is harmful to be around, and they are often attracted to the very people who will take advantage of their willingness to give.  

"Zombie Love" - Photo by Trista Wynne

This is life-taking-zombie-love, dear ones.  This is not the life-giving love that Christ offers.  This is not the rejuvenating way of the Beloved.

Loving others is not the same as allowing ourselves to become door mats. We do need to listen to the intuitive part of ourselves that lets us know whether a person is safe or whether they would be harmful or toxic for us to be around on a regular basis. If we allow others to hurt us, (particularly if we allow continuous abuse in verbal, physical or sexual forms) then we are allowing the other person's spirit to destroy itself and we are not caring for ourselves. Self-effacement is not love. True love includes self-care.

Mortal Combat

No, I'm not talking about the video game; (otherwise I'd have spelled combat with a K) instead, I'm talking about combat in the mortal, or physical, realm.  My husband and I just finished watching The Fighter.  In this movie, a boxer overcomes some intense personal and professional struggles in order to attain the world welterweight title in the 1980s.

Photo by Trista Wynne

I have to say that I have an incredible respect for hand-to-hand combat.  One of the sad trends in zombie movies and books is an intense focus on combat from a distance.  You want to keep the enemy away from you and kill them before you can even recognize their (former) humanity.  As my husband and I slowly work our way through The Walking Dead, (I was attending class when it was on, so we recorded it to watch during summer break) I am delighted to see that zombies are treated humanely. 

Zombie Women Unite!

"Zombie Women Drum!"
Photo by Matt Wynne

The Fremont Solstice Festival is an expression of joy and freedom birthed out of a love for the arts.  My husband and I very much enjoy the culture and atmosphere in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle.  (Perhaps one day we'll live there; for now we simply visit when we can.)  Today Matt and I participated in the Solstice Parade, which inaugurates the beautiful days of summer.  It is our third year of drumming for Delilah's bellydancers, and we love it!  My body, mind and spirit are consistently rejuvinated through my interactions with the women who dance as well as the men and women who drum for them.

Likewise, when I attend a local women's drum circle each month, I almost always come away feeling unburdened.  I stand taller, breathe more easily, think more clearly and love more fully as a result.  These gatherings allow a fullness of self-expression, creative energy and a whole-bodied seeking after a Source beyond ourselves.  To be honest, it has been a while since I've experienced a similar feeling in a corporate worship gathering.  I look for it, and the search will go on, but I suspect that the kind of gathering I am looking for is more like a large family than a corporate gathering in a distant building.