What's in our Eyes?

I've been writing more often in my prayer blog lately than on here, but today's awful events bring me back into the realm of violence, theology and questions.  I posted in the prayer blog about a shooting that happened in the nearby Clackamas Town Center earlier this week.  Now, only a few days later we hear about a terrible tragedy in Connecticut.

Images, sound clips and heart-breaking accounts of today's events leave us feeling numb and hopeless.  A steady stream of political posturing and religious rants have been flooding my Facebook news feed all day.  It is sad how quickly we can manipulate a tragedy into a tool for our own agendas.  We have violence towards one another in our eyes.

We have a hard time simply sighing as a nation and grieving together.  We are immediately looking for someone or something to blame.  (Yes, I include myself in this.  I said, "we".  Although I refrained from posting throughout the day, my mind went all over, too...)  We have destruction in our eyes.

Tonight, though, as the reactions begin to simmer down and the soul searching begins, I am reminded that perfect love casts out fear.

A Zombie's Look at the Important Things

Yesterday marks one month since I moved to Portland from Seattle.  This is my childhood home, where both my husband and I were born and raised.

It has certainly been a full month with lots of transitions! Plenty of mental acrobatics have come about as my internal maps of the area have been accessed and modified from the shifting roads during our seven years away. And since it's taken my MEW several weeks to get transferred down here as well, we've been adjusting both to life apart at first and now to life together again.

Our kitties are settling in well and very much enjoying being on the first floor where they have the ability, (much to our dismay and, at times, amusement) to dart out the door onto the nearby grass as we arrive home with arms full from work. It's nice to have a washer and dryer in our unit - we only had this once in our 10 years of married life - and the cats are learning that these are not scary sounds. Our apartment is mostly unpacked, (although there are still a few boxes in the office/guest room yet to be opened) and we have given several crate fulls to Goodwill now that we have time to sort our stuff.

We are releasing the hoarding zombie-like tendency so prevalent in our society.

I Live, and the Light Shines!

Grace and peace to you, dear ones!

I know it's been a long time since I posted last.  We've been in process of moving from Seattle to Portland for a month now.  Finally both me and my husband are settling into our new jobs and our two kitties are settling into their new apartment.  We have an office that is in disarray at the moment, but most of the rest of our apartment is quite nice and well put together.

Tonight, not a long post, but a bit of a reflection on Max Brooks' World War Z.  I picked up the book the first year it was published, but was unable to get very far because I had to focus my attention towards my studies.  Now that I have fully graduated, (just waiting for grades to officially post from the summer and then the degree to come in the mail a month or so later!) I now have enough brain energy to focus on this delightful book once more.

My Brain's a Bit Occupied

Grace and peace to you, dear ones!

You've come here looking for brains! You're a perfect addition to this theological zombie blog!  Just as in Jesus' arms, all are welcome here!

Just so you are aware, my brain is on hiatus at the moment.  Or rather, it is otherwise occupied with wrapping up my summer internship and last online class while preparing (along with my husband and two kitties) to move from the Seattle area to Portland.  All of this transition is coming to pass within two weeks, so please check back for new posts sometime in September.

For now, I invite you to enjoy the pictures we captured at the Red, White & Dead Zombie Walk in Seattle this summer.  And please do peruse the older posts (here's one from July which I neglected to share on Twitter) and photos as well.  Looking forward to re-engaging your brains in a few weeks!

In the Day of Trouble: A Psalm for Zombies

While reading the office for this evening at DailyOffice.org I found myself highly intrigued by Psalm 27.

Imagine yourself surrounded by a hoard of walkers or zombies and clinging to life by a hair's breath.



Smell the stench of rotting flesh.  Hear the moans of hungry foes.  See the flickering candle, your only source of light in the deep night.  Taste the salty sweat dripping down your face from your brow line.  And then read the psalm below...

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom then shall I fear? *
the LORD is the strength of my life;
of whom then shall I be afraid?

When evildoers came upon me
to eat up my flesh, *
it was they, my foes and my adversaries,
who stumbled and fell.
Though an army should encamp against me, *
yet my heart shall not be afraid;
And though war should rise up against me, *
yet will I put my trust in him.

One thing have I asked of the LORD;
one thing I seek; *
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life;
To behold the fair beauty of the LORD *
and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble
he shall keep me safe in his shelter; *
he shall hide me in the secrecy of his dwelling
and set me high upon a rock.

Even now he lifts up my head *
above my enemies round about me.
Therefore I will offer in his dwelling
an oblation with sounds of great gladness; *
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

Can you imagine, dear ones, what it must have been like for the psalmist?  When they composed this song of love and trust they must have been in the midst of a terrible war!  Yet even in the midst of crisis, they raise this song of praise knowing that God is truly the One who will deliver them.

Are we, in the midst of our daily struggles, able to offer such praises?  Can we sing songs of trust and love while we are surrounded by terrors of the night?  I desire with all of my heart to say yes.  I want to stretch my hands up in the air and trust that God will deliver me from the pains and struggles of this life.

Let's pray, dear ones, that we might experience the uplifting of our minds so that we, too, can sing with joy in the midst of the trial.  Let us run to the holy places where the Spirit of God is magnified, so we might feast on our Maker rather than one another.  Let us gather in the sanctuaries and be renewed by the Living God who enters into our midst and brings peace to us - body, mind and soul. 

Let us sing and make music before the Lord.  And then, dear ones, let us go into the hoard and do our best to offer the antidote of Christ to our zombie brethren, for we all know what it is like to have a hunger for flesh.  But we know the One who can fully satisfy this hunger and bring us (and all to whom we minister) peace and life to the fullest measure.

Feeling Dry?

Grace and peace to you, dear ones!

At several points this year, while clambering to and from various gatherings and trying to push myself through the final quarters in my seminary career, I have found myself feeling a little dry, (I wrote a little earlier in the summer about this very thing) and wondering where our Beloved was.  I felt as though I was in the midst of a terrible storm of thunder and lightning but was lacking the refreshing, cooling downpour of grace upon my thirsty soul.  As one born and raised in the pacific-northwest where rains are quite abundant, this is saying something!

On account of my geographical location, I don't often identify with the imagery of desert sands and arid places; the landscape surrounding me is usually quite lush and green.  However, during certain points in my life, and particularly poignantly in the last few months of seminary, I have had very strong sensations of being unceasingly thirsty, dry and in a time of waiting for our Beloved to come and take some powerful action.  In these times, this vision of Ezekiel is particularly profound:

"Feeling Dry" - Photo by Trista Wynne

Reaching for Freedom

Watching the sun settling on the horizon this evening, gathered with friends, family, neighbors and community members, we give thanks for the tremendous freedoms we have in this country.  What are you thankful for today?  I'm several days into a thirty-day celebration of praise and thanksgiving, using Twitter to offer prayers and observations of joy in honor of my thirtieth birthday which just past last Saturday.  I invite you to join me, and to offer your own #30DaysofPraise during the month of July.

"Reaching for Freedom"
Red, White & Dead
Zombie Walk, Seattle, 2011
Photo by Trista Wynne

Often around Thanksgiving, and sometimes around Christmas, we pause to take stock of what we have and to offer thanks to our Creator.  But for the rest of the year we seem to take our friends, families, food, clothing, freedom and even our very bodies for granted.  Dear ones, our founding fathers and mothers who fought and strove and prayed and sacrificed so that we might be free from tyrannical government, slave-labor and oppressive taxes did not give of themselves just so that we could be comfortable. 

We as a nation, and each of us as individuals, are called to reach and to work for the freedom, justice, equality and fair treatment of all people everywhere.  And we still have much work to do on our own soil, in our own homes, in our own churches and in our own workplaces.  We cannot simply say that inequalities, injustice, oppression, slavery, abuse and neglect only happen in other places.

The zombie virus is alive and spreading, dear ones.  Everything that our founding mothers and fathers worked so hard to obliterate has seeped into our very bones.  We still fight against it every day, even in our own bodies, minds and spirits.

Sharing the Antidote

"A Zombie Healer"
@ZomBcon Seattle Oct '11
Photo by Matthew Wynne

"Do you want to be made well?"

Jesus' words to a paralytic sitting by the pool of Siloam echo in my mind as I contemplate the drastic shifting of a few relationships that has occurred in my life very recently.  As a theological zombie, on account of my relationship with Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life, I have access to the antidote of the zombie virus. 

Love of God and love of neighbor is the clear antidote.  It takes time to work, and our bodies, minds and spirits go through a series of trials and errors within us.  The virus attempts to make us reject, or to develop antibodies that attack the antidote in our system; but if we return to our Creator at regular intervals and accept the guidance of the Great Physician, we will defeat the virus.  We will remember what it means to be human.

If you've read my previous posts, you'll know that I fully admit that I am somewhere in the midst of battling the zombie virus, both inwardly and in society.  I am working with the Great Physician in attempt to help my body, mind and spirit not to reject the antidote.  I am not yet cured of the zombie virus.  I am in the process of being healed.

Bearing that in mind, I, like all Christ-followers, am called to bring the antidote to the infected.  You can see that I am sharing the Gospel, the Love of God and the Love of others and the Love of creation with you all here on this blog, dear ones.  I am trying to live a life that reflects this love so that our Lord might be glorified and that you might be encouraged along your own healing journey. 

Yes, I loose my way sometimes.  Yes, I stumble along the pathway of life.  Still, I am called to this work of healing and redemption.  So, dear ones, are you.

Zombies Love Music!

In just a couple of weeks, the zombie hoard of Seattle will descend upon the Fremont neighborhood with a vengeance!  Each year we don our make-up and pick out new outfits to bring the Guiness Book of World Records home once more, striving to bring thousands of zombies into one place at the same time.

There's always awesome musicians there to entertain the masses, great photo opportunities and plenty of time to get your groove on.  Our Red, White & Dead gatherings wouldn't be complete without a gigantic dance to Michael Jackson's "Thriller"!  Seattle Zombies love to shuffle to the beat!

Here's a slideshow of our "Red, White & Dead" photos from 2011:

New Life for Dry Bones

Dry Bones in Dry Leaves
Photo by Trista Wynne

As is the case with most of humanity, part of me has been dead for a long time.  We are all zombies of one sort or another.  Some of us have parts of our personality, or psyche, or spirit or core self that has stopped working and we suspect has died.

For some of us that part of ourselves was brutally beaten over years of experiencing or witnessing the mistreatment, abuse or neglect of others.  In other cases, a singular traumatic event caused that part of ourselves to suddenly shrivel into a prune-like state.  Over time these bits of ourselves have begun to rot and even to turn to dust.  Whatever state of decomposition these parts of ourselves are in, I assure you, dear ones, that we have a word of hope.

Graduation!!!

Yesterday, June 2nd 2012, I graduated from Fuller Seminary Northwest.  It was a fantastic day - the culmination of seminary studies, and a day I've looked forward to since I was six years old!  The good Lord, our Beloved Creator, knows what's next.  As of yet, I've only been given some inklings and ideas.  The whole picture has yet to be revealed.  For now, I am simply thankful for this day of celebration and this giant accomplishment! 

All praise to You, Lord Most High, who called me into seminary and have flowed through the teachings there, through my work as a nanny, through my relationship with my husband and with Your communities of faith, to help me grow in knowledge, love and compassion!  Wherever You lead I will go!  Whatever You call me to, I will do!  Thank You, Beloved, for Your presence and guidance!  And now, thank You, Lord, for rest and recuperation.  Amen.

Dear ones, today, my head is fuzzy and my body is tired.  Having not slept well out of excitement the night prior to graduation, and then again last night due to processing the whole event, today I feel a bit zombie-esque and have not changed out of my pajamas.  It is a true Sabbath day for me! 

Well, dear ones, this is a short post today.  Since I am receiving my Master's of Arts in Theology and Ministry, I'm considering adopting the title "Zombie Master of the Theological and Ministerial Arts".  What do you think?

The Zombie Student Speaks: An Ascension Sunday Message

Greetings, dear ones!

Earlier today I delivered the sermon for St Peter's UMC.  Although I didn't mention zombies in this particular sermon, the message is clear: let's stop biting and clawing one another in the Church and move closer to unity through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Many of us forget our identities as children of our Heavenly Father, and we neglect or abuse our brothers and sisters in Christ in thought, word and deed.  Committee meetings are notorious for such behavior!

I'm certain that our Lord Jesus knew exactly what was coming, and that's why He called the disciples (and now calls us) to sit down and watch for the movement of the Holy Spirit.  Sit down and wait.  Sit down until you are filled with My Presence, He says. I promise to guide you.  Just watch and wait for my Spirit.  She will guide you when the Father and I send her to you.

As we prepare for the season of Pentecost, dear ones, I pray that we all will take time to sit, to watch and to wait for the Spirit to lead us.  Only then will we remember who, and whose, we are.  Here, dear ones, is my sermon.  Watch and wait.  I'll do the same.  Then, together we can enter the future which God has prepared for us.  Remember, no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love God. These things have been, are being, and will be revealed through the Holy Spirit who searches all -- even the very deepest places within God (1 Cor. 2:9-10).

For Women Everywhere: Mother's Day is for Protest, Prayer & Peace

For all who suffer for one reason or another on Mother's Day, I fully acknowledge you.  I am one of you, too.  For years this day has reminded me of the scars in my heart and the empty womb that once held embryos but was unable, for whatever reason, to keep them alive.  There are other pains, too, that I will not share in such a public place, but you can be sure that they are there.

Take heart, dear ones.  Much love to all of you!  I pray that we all will find comfort and renewed passion by examining our roots. 

Photo by Matt Wynne

Mother's Day is not about chocolates and flowers (although both, if fairly traded and pesticide free, are lovely).  It's not about jewelry and store-bought cards.  This day is not about being a consumer zombie.

This morning, my pastor reminded us all that Mother's Day in America originated with the prayerful protest of Julia Ward Howe.  In her earlier years she had penned the Battle Hymn of the Republic, but as she experienced the dreadful agony of war, her motherly despair caused her to cry out against the violence.  (Experience of violence, grief and suffering has a tendency to change our theology.)  As relevant today as it was when it was first prepared, let us read, hear, speak and pray these words of protest, prayer and womanhood.  Let us remember what it means to be alive!

Against war. 

Against mindless consumerism feeding ceaseless hunger for more.  

Against governmental decisions that put our loved ones in danger on account of lust for money and power. 

The Gift of Empathy: Tending the Zombie Vine

It's been a little while since I've posted, dear ones.  I've been working through some health issues and dietary changes trying to get my digestion to settle down.  But today I'm back, writing about an experience within the slight chaos that has been my life in the last month or so.

"Devouring the Vine"

As a zombie theologian, I've often struggled with this beautiful and frustrating thing called a body.  Sometimes there is passion and joy in every fiber of my being.  I feel connected to the earth, connected to my fellow human beings and the whole created order, and intimately connected to our Beloved, the Creator of all.  The zombie within has entered a time of remembering who she was created to be.  At other times, however, I loose my footing, I can't comprehend relationships and I completely loose sight of the Beautiful One we know as God.

In the times of forgetfulness and confusion, my body goes out of alignment, my muscles ache, my digestion is not as it should be, and it is difficult to maintain relationships with nearly anyone.  I forget who I am in relation to creation.  My communication gets all garbled.  And generally I begin to focus in on my ailments and the undiagnosed diseases I am certain are lurking somewhere within my system.  In short, when I am disconnected, I am withering, inside and out.  In such times, the zombie within becomes fully and completely visible to all who care to spend more than a few moments in my presence.

What's so Good about this Friday?

In a Twitter post earlier this afternoon, I said "Our Lord experienced all we do, even death. We are never alone. God knows our pain. God has come to us. That is why we call this day good."  This is true, but it's not the whole of it.  As my eyes meandered down the posting list, I came across a post from the Next Starfish saying, "Eggs & Bunnies? - Easter and Forgiveness" with a link to their latest blog post.

I stand corrected.  And I must add an addendum to my post.

Jesus' experience of all the pain, suffering and humiliation first century humanity could throw at Him is not the only reason we call this day good.  As Next Starfish says in their blog post, it's "all about forgiveness".  Jesus did not only cry, "my God, my God why have You forsaken me" from the cross.  He also cried, "Father, forgive them for they have no idea what they're doing".

The Zombie Within - A Prayer for Release

Lord,
I desire to be at peace.  I desire freedom from anger, freedom from hatred, freedom from death, pain and darkness.  I desire fullness of love and abundant mercy to flow out of me like a wellspring of living water.  Dear Lord, I want to be whole.

I want to be able to give from an infinite wellspring of life and abundance.  This sort of giving is only possible through intimate communion with You.

But You are not all I desire.

Dust and Ashes: Mortality, Ash Wednesday & Collective Memory

Fellow zombies attempting to remember our Identity,

Yesterday we began one of the most intense seasons in the Family year.  As our heads were marked with ashen crosses, we exhaled and sighed, remembering that humankind was created from the dust of the earth and animated by the Breath of our Creator.  We all know, don't we, the pain that comes with the return to the earth?  Death hardly ever comes easily or quickly.  Very few people simply drift from this life into the next without a fight.  We live in a society seemingly hell-bent on retaining animation as long as possible.

Ash Wednesday, dear brothers and sisters, reminds us that we will return to the earth.  But this is not the end, dear ones.  Oh no, this is not the end.

Zombie Brains Contemplate Relationship

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted here!  My goal was to be on top of posting at least once a week, but it turns out this was only the case during the summer, and it is an unrealistic expectation during seminary study time.  So, perhaps once a month will be my new goal.

Since posting last, we've meandered through the season of advent, celebrated Christmas, closed out a new year and begun a new one.  I've also begun a new term and come to the realization that my time in seminary is drawing close to a wrapping up point.  Only four classes and a part-time practicum stand between me today and the zombie wearing a grad cap and gown with velvet stripes.  I'll be a Master of Theology & Ministry then.  How's that for brains?

Mmmm, braaaaiiiiinnnssss!

Ahem.

Sorry about the drool.